So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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