you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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