we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
