We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
