whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
