This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
