Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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