and you said cock pushups were impossible
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
