We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm passing your future prison.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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