Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
