there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
