dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She told me I should be a condom model.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
