Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
