Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
