ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
