my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
