You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
