She's JV to your varsity
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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