I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
