I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
