i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
