Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
