On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
