Porn is love you can see.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
