If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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