I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
