I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
