I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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