Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
