is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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