it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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