Midget sex pt 2 tonight
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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