The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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