plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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