oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
