help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
