i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
