i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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