do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
