Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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