My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
