Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
