where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
