if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
