Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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