My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
