I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
