Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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