she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
