The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
